So way back in February, I mentioned that I'd been invited to an assessment day...
Turned out I was successful, and got invited back for an interview for a specific job. I had a choice of two days, one of which was Wednesday later that week, the other a week later. Since I'd started doing some hours at the local Tourist Information Centre, and had already agreed to work that Wednesday, I thought I'd better go for the second of the two options, so replied saying I'd like to come in on the 25th March please.
Come the morning of the 25th, I had a realisation. 25th March is the Feast of the Annunciation! One of Mama Mary's big days.
Right then, I'd better place it all in her hands. I decided that I'd give it all over to her, and trust that if I was supposed to get the job I would, and if I didn't, it was because there was something better around the corner for me.
To be honest, I wasn't convinced it had gone great. The interviewers asked the same question worded in different ways a few times, I wasn't sure I'd given the right answers, etc etc etc...
So I asked when I'd hear, and was told that I should hear by the end of the week.
Okay, right, not too long to wait then. So away I went, still trying to be trusting.
Come the end of the week? Nope, nothing, Come the end of the following week and Easter? Still nothing. Assumption made by me that I was unsuccessful. That's okay, I had Celebrate to distract me.
I had an odd feeling at the beginning of the week that by the end something would have happened with regards to a job. What it would be I did not know. Maybe someone would suggest a job that I should apply for, maybe I'd be offered an interview somewhere else. Who knows.
Turned out what it was to be was that I would hear that I was successful with this job!
So here I am, about to start a new job on Monday (which coincidentally is my mummy's birthday). Starting a job during the month specially dedicated to Mama Mary, when the interview for the specific job was on one of her big feast days? Definitely feels a little bit special.
On top of that, there is a church with 8am Mass about 5 minutes walk away from my new place of work, and I'm hoping to make sure I set aside time during my commuting for saying morning and evening prayer.
So yay for being able to justify spending more time in London and going to things that happen in the evening like Pure in Heart.
Any suggestions for Catholic stuff in London I could/should look into?
Wednesday 6 May 2015
And 2 months later...
So umm...
Oops?
I have clearly been fantastic at remembering to post here. So much for my posting at least twice a month plan from the beginning of the year...
Well then, what have I been up to over the past two months?
A few highlights are:
Oops?
I have clearly been fantastic at remembering to post here. So much for my posting at least twice a month plan from the beginning of the year...
Well then, what have I been up to over the past two months?
A few highlights are:
- Spent a week and a bit enjoying meeting more Catholic people at Celebrate (a huge Charismatic conference). including this years super lovely SPEC team
- Been working quite a lot - I've been loving getting to spend time working at the Tourist Information Centre. You get some very strange questions and queries, but it's been really interesting and I'm going to miss it. (Miss it? Why? What are you up to? Well, dear reader, keep reading and I'll explain in a few points time)
- Painted my room(!) - I finally, 7 years later, get my room back. Now I just need to actually finish emptying the upstairs room and throw out a lot of junk and old stuff that I do not need and should not be keeping. Hoarder? Me? Surely not... *looks innocent* When I get my wardrobe, and whenever I finally get the room finished, I will post some photos to share.
- Been to the Youth 2000 retreat I mentioned in the last post I actually remembered to type... (Where I met people who know my brother, spent a whole weekend near him, and didn't actually manage to see him. Mild fail)
- Got a new job. Yes! That's right. A real grown up job. Admittedly it's only contracted until February, but exactly what that means I do not yet know. I begin on Monday 11th, so am currently spending my time getting excited about working in London and trying to make sure I've worked out what a Smart Casual dress code really means. (Seriously, any ideas? It's about as vague as you can get!)
I will type more at another point, but for now I'm going to love you and leave you since I should really be asleep right now and not sitting awake tapping away on my computer.
Oh, and since I haven't said it yet on account of having last posted back during Lent, and since it is still the Easter season for another couple of weeks...
Happy Easter. I hope you are having/have been having/will continue to have a very blessed time.
xx
Sunday 8 March 2015
How I spent Valentines...
You know what I really love? How tiny the Catholic world is. Any time I go anywhere, it is pretty much guaranteed that I will bump into someone I know. Last Saturday at Flame 2 being a prime example. I managed to see so many people that I've not seen for a while, and more that I have seen recently. I've met more new lovely new people, especially through being involved in the big secret project of the opening dance and flashmob. I still half can't believe that I got to dance up on stage at Wembley Arena twice in one day (which makes it 3 times in total, having been involved in the original Flame).
I will do a bigger better brighter post at some point in the near future on Flame 2, but this post is actually a catch up from last month...
Now, I'd been to the big summer Youth 2000 retreat in Walsingham a couple of times before, but this was the first time I'd made it to a weekend one. Apart from the whole sleeping on a classroom floor thing, it was pretty much everything I'd hoped it would be. I got to spend some amazing quality time with Jesus, hear some interesting talks, and met some lovely new people.
Something that I really really love about Youth 2000 is how it's totally centred around the Eucharist - around Jesus. From the end of the opening Mass to just before closing Mass, there is perpetual adoration. Jesus is out, physically present for the whole weekend. The talks are given with Him in the room, the praise and worship takes place around Him. If you wake up at, say, 3am, you can go and sit with Him.
During the summer I made a pact that I almost totally failed at. I said that if God wanted me to wake up in the middle of the night and go sit with him, I would do. Sure enough, first night, I woke up at around 3am. So I put on even more layers (because it was ridiculously cold) and went and sat in the big tent for a bit. The next night I woke up and... turned over and went back to sleep. As I did the next night or two. Oops.
So this time I was determined to be better. I put my name down for 3am to go and sit with Jesus for an hour. By making that commitment I knew I was going to have to stick to it, and I did, and it was amazing. So amazing. The second hour that was forced upon me by the next person not turning up was slightly less amazing, given that I really wanted some sleep, but it was still pretty fantastic. And okay, the second night I went to sit with him at 6am instead, but I know that I needed the sleep.
That ability to just go and sit with Jesus is something that I never really appreciated when I was at SPEC. They are so blessed there to have a chapel with a tabernacle in it, meaning that Jesus is physically there. Yes, I know He's always everywhere, but somehow there's something special about knowing he's actually there. I guess it's like talking to someone in person vs talking to them on messenger or by text or even by letter. That's probably the best I can describe it.
As I've said in a previous post, I went with two friends. Although I know quite a few people involved in Y2K on account of having been to Walsingham a couple of times, I'm still the type of person who likes to know that there's someone I know there that I can talk to. So when I realised that neither of them would be in my small group because I'm too old to be in theirs, I did have a mild moment of "uh-oh...". I really shouldn't have though, because Him up there never does anything unintentionally, and all the people in my small group were fabby. I'm not sure we had much sensible conversation the first evening, as we spent most of the time giggling, but y'know what, that was exactly what I needed right then.
As for the talks? There's always an element of "I've heard all of this before" whenever I go to these things. Having spent a year at SPEC and being very involved in the Catholic society at Durham before that, and having been to several of these types of things, there's always going to be things said that you've heard before. But sometimes that's because you need to hear it again. Sometimes it's stuff that needs to be repeated several times before it'll go in, sometimes you'll get something different out of hearing the same thing.
Essentially, it was a weekend of feeling like I was exactly where I was meant to be. Anyone thinking of maybe going to a Youth 2000 retreat (or any kind of retreat) should definitely do it.
Next one is in Cardiff from the 24th - 26th April.
So how about you? Will I see you in Cardiff?
Have you been to a retreat? What was your experience?
Are you thinking about going to one?
Let me know in the comments below!
Friday 27 February 2015
30 before 30 updated
Someone has pointed out to me that I could seriously shorten this list by condensing it down to "be more Catholic and travel more." They may have a point...
Anyway, here is an updated version.
1. Create this list. (This totally counts, right?)
2. Pray the Divine Office every day for a month (or at least morning and evening pray). - I think Lent would be a wonderful time to try and do this, so I'll give it a go then.
3. Go on a silent retreat.
4. Attend a Papal Mass - I did technically attend a Papal Mass at World Youth Day in Madrid, but since I was having fun with heatstroke or exhaustion or something, I don't remember anything. I know it was a bit wet and windy... (I have been informed that there was a huge thunderstorm and it has been referred to fondly by others as the night the Pope's hat fell off). Which brings me onto my next one...
5. Attend (another) World Youth Day. Now since there's only going to be one before I'm 30, I'm a little limited. Krakow it shall have to be! Only slight potential issue there is health... I would love to go but may have to think a bit seriously about it.
6.Attempt couch to 5k - I think I can cross this one off. I did attempt it, and completed the first week, but my knees don't like it. I might give it another go one day, but for now I think it may have to be it.
7. Visit Auchswitz
8. Go on a road trip
9. Spend New Years inTimes Square a foreign country
10. Pilgrimage to Rome - I've visited Rome a few times, but always just as a tourist. I think going mainly for the religious side of it would be wonderful.
11. Read 100 new books - I think I should start a new page and keep track of what I've read to see if I can succeed with this!
12.Sell something I've made - Done this Christmas! I sold two pairs of fingerless mittens.
Right, now for some new ones...
13. Visit Assisi.
14. Get my honours degree
15. Go to Disney (World, land, Paris, I don't care, I just want to be a princess!)
16. Find a job I actually want to do/have
17. Figure out my vocation (as if it's going to be that easy...)
18.Read every book CS Lewis has written Just looked at his bibliography. Yeah... That's not happening. Editing it to: Reading all of his signature classics.
19. Walk the Camino (or at least the last section)
20. Go to work with an Ash Wednesday cross on my forehead.
21. Make enough items of clothing for myself to be able to wear a different outfit every day for a week.
21. Make a full costume for myself and attend MCM comic con wearing it. (Currently thinking either Ariel or Anna)
22. Dye my hair proper full on Ariel pillar box red. - this is in progress...!
23. Figure out my diet/what makes me ill
24. Attend Goodwood Revival
25. Do a short course at London College of Fashion - I'm thinking Millinary
26. Dance on stage at Wembley Arena (for the second time) - doing on the 7th March at Flame 2 (previous time was at Flame), although I cannot divulge any more until then as I have been sworn to secrecy!
27.
28.
29.
30. Keep this blog going
I've decided that I'm intentionally going to leave 27, 28 and 29 blank for now, so I can add a new one in each of the remaining years until I'm 30. Hopefully inspiration will hit at some point then...
So how about you? Have you got a 30 before 30 on the go?
Fancy giving me a hand with any of mine?
Let me know!
Anyway, here is an updated version.
1. Create this list. (This totally counts, right?)
2. Pray the Divine Office every day for a month (or at least morning and evening pray). - I think Lent would be a wonderful time to try and do this, so I'll give it a go then.
3. Go on a silent retreat.
4. Attend a Papal Mass - I did technically attend a Papal Mass at World Youth Day in Madrid, but since I was having fun with heatstroke or exhaustion or something, I don't remember anything. I know it was a bit wet and windy... (I have been informed that there was a huge thunderstorm and it has been referred to fondly by others as the night the Pope's hat fell off). Which brings me onto my next one...
5. Attend (another) World Youth Day. Now since there's only going to be one before I'm 30, I'm a little limited. Krakow it shall have to be! Only slight potential issue there is health... I would love to go but may have to think a bit seriously about it.
6.
7. Visit Auchswitz
8. Go on a road trip
9. Spend New Years in
10. Pilgrimage to Rome - I've visited Rome a few times, but always just as a tourist. I think going mainly for the religious side of it would be wonderful.
11. Read 100 new books - I think I should start a new page and keep track of what I've read to see if I can succeed with this!
12.
Right, now for some new ones...
13. Visit Assisi.
14. Get my honours degree
15. Go to Disney (World, land, Paris, I don't care, I just want to be a princess!)
16. Find a job I actually want to do/have
17. Figure out my vocation (as if it's going to be that easy...)
18.
19. Walk the Camino (or at least the last section)
20. Go to work with an Ash Wednesday cross on my forehead.
21. Make enough items of clothing for myself to be able to wear a different outfit every day for a week.
21. Make a full costume for myself and attend MCM comic con wearing it. (Currently thinking either Ariel or Anna)
22. Dye my hair proper full on Ariel pillar box red. - this is in progress...!
24. Attend Goodwood Revival
25. Do a short course at London College of Fashion - I'm thinking Millinary
26. Dance on stage at Wembley Arena (for the second time) - doing on the 7th March at Flame 2 (previous time was at Flame), although I cannot divulge any more until then as I have been sworn to secrecy!
27.
28.
29.
30. Keep this blog going
I've decided that I'm intentionally going to leave 27, 28 and 29 blank for now, so I can add a new one in each of the remaining years until I'm 30. Hopefully inspiration will hit at some point then...
So how about you? Have you got a 30 before 30 on the go?
Fancy giving me a hand with any of mine?
Let me know!
Wednesday 25 February 2015
It's quiet around here...
Oops,
Okay, so my plan to blog regularly seems to have gone on a slight hiatus. In my defence, I had only phone access to the Internet for a week, but have been back in the land of the wi-fi since Friday, so I really should have posted by now. Bad blogger.
So what have I been up to?
Well, on the 13th I had a super blessed day.
I had already booked the day off work on account of travelling up to Leeds to go to the Youth 2000 retreat (more on that later). Consequently, when, on Wednesday, I was invited to an assessment day on the Friday morning, I was able to say yes without having to worry about trying to get shifts swapped or getting someone to cover my shift or anything like that. I could just say yes! (The assessment day was at a super exciting place, but I'm still no closer to knowing how it went or whether anything will come of it, so I'm going to stay quiet about it. If nothing else comes from it, at least I got a free pen and pencil!).
Right, interview over, and heading home to pack to go to Leeds/Manchester (the former for Youth 2000, the latter to visit a friend). The original plan had been to drive up with a couple of my friends - the lovely Bekah (she of the beautiful sunrise analogy) and Ari. Bekah was going to drive, so since I had no idea when I'd be back from London, I suggested they should just head up by themselves and I'd drive up by myself and join them when I could.
Turned out they were running late! So it all worked out perfectly and the three of us headed north together.
Pretty good for a Friday 13th, right?
Friday to Sunday were spent in Leeds at the retreat, on which I will try to remember to write a post later. For now I'll just say that it was an incredibly blessed time where I got to see many lovely people again, and meet some fantastic new people.
The time in Manchester was wonderful. We had a couple of day trips out to visit old friends and a day wandering around the centre. I made very successful gluten/lactose free pancakes (which were yummy) and from this recipe and even showed our friend's little sister how to make real pancakes that didn't just come out of a bottle! I told her that that is the cheating way of doing it.
Since coming back I seem to have spent a large amount of time baking!
I made a sticky toffee cake for Ellen (one of my sister)'s birthday, which came out rather successfully in the shape of Mickey Mouse's head/face (aren't silicon cake moulds wonderful things!)
This was a bit of an experiment, as the recipe I used is for a traybake, so I wasn't totally sure how it would translate to a cake cake. Since it is now almost all gone, I guess the answer is, pretty good!
I also made cupcakes, which were then decorated. All of the above was done with the assistance of my 4 year old niece Elsa... I mean Rosie.
Turns out she's really good at beating eggs! I corrected her fork holding the first time, but she did it all herself, and she did it totally herself the second time. She also made really good hearts for some of the cupcakes, whereas I spent my time making an Anna and an Elsa.
(Yes, she looks like a minion, no she's not supposed to be, otherwise Rosie will get very cross...)
I also apologise for the quality of the photos, and promise that I shall attempt to be better at remembering to use my good camera in the future instead of just going for my phone...
Anyway, I think that's enough for now, so I shall leave you with a link to my current favourite recipe book. Cake Angels is a lovely book full of all sorts of yummy gluten, wheat and dairy free cake/traybake/cupcake recipes. Yummy yummy yummy.
(I definitely need to try out more of the recipes soon!)
So how has your past week been? Do you have any good gluten free baking recipes to reccomend? Let me know in the comments below!
Okay, so my plan to blog regularly seems to have gone on a slight hiatus. In my defence, I had only phone access to the Internet for a week, but have been back in the land of the wi-fi since Friday, so I really should have posted by now. Bad blogger.
So what have I been up to?
Well, on the 13th I had a super blessed day.
I had already booked the day off work on account of travelling up to Leeds to go to the Youth 2000 retreat (more on that later). Consequently, when, on Wednesday, I was invited to an assessment day on the Friday morning, I was able to say yes without having to worry about trying to get shifts swapped or getting someone to cover my shift or anything like that. I could just say yes! (The assessment day was at a super exciting place, but I'm still no closer to knowing how it went or whether anything will come of it, so I'm going to stay quiet about it. If nothing else comes from it, at least I got a free pen and pencil!).
Right, interview over, and heading home to pack to go to Leeds/Manchester (the former for Youth 2000, the latter to visit a friend). The original plan had been to drive up with a couple of my friends - the lovely Bekah (she of the beautiful sunrise analogy) and Ari. Bekah was going to drive, so since I had no idea when I'd be back from London, I suggested they should just head up by themselves and I'd drive up by myself and join them when I could.
Turned out they were running late! So it all worked out perfectly and the three of us headed north together.
Pretty good for a Friday 13th, right?
Friday to Sunday were spent in Leeds at the retreat, on which I will try to remember to write a post later. For now I'll just say that it was an incredibly blessed time where I got to see many lovely people again, and meet some fantastic new people.
The time in Manchester was wonderful. We had a couple of day trips out to visit old friends and a day wandering around the centre. I made very successful gluten/lactose free pancakes (which were yummy) and from this recipe and even showed our friend's little sister how to make real pancakes that didn't just come out of a bottle! I told her that that is the cheating way of doing it.
Since coming back I seem to have spent a large amount of time baking!
I made a sticky toffee cake for Ellen (one of my sister)'s birthday, which came out rather successfully in the shape of Mickey Mouse's head/face (aren't silicon cake moulds wonderful things!)
This was a bit of an experiment, as the recipe I used is for a traybake, so I wasn't totally sure how it would translate to a cake cake. Since it is now almost all gone, I guess the answer is, pretty good!
I also made cupcakes, which were then decorated. All of the above was done with the assistance of my 4 year old niece Elsa... I mean Rosie.
Turns out she's really good at beating eggs! I corrected her fork holding the first time, but she did it all herself, and she did it totally herself the second time. She also made really good hearts for some of the cupcakes, whereas I spent my time making an Anna and an Elsa.
(Yes, she looks like a minion, no she's not supposed to be, otherwise Rosie will get very cross...)
I also apologise for the quality of the photos, and promise that I shall attempt to be better at remembering to use my good camera in the future instead of just going for my phone...
Anyway, I think that's enough for now, so I shall leave you with a link to my current favourite recipe book. Cake Angels is a lovely book full of all sorts of yummy gluten, wheat and dairy free cake/traybake/cupcake recipes. Yummy yummy yummy.
(I definitely need to try out more of the recipes soon!)
So how has your past week been? Do you have any good gluten free baking recipes to reccomend? Let me know in the comments below!
Thursday 5 February 2015
Here comes Lent...
Uh-oh, Lent's coming again. Really soon. What am I going to do this year?
For some reason, everytime I realise Lent's just around the corner it sends me into a mild state of panic. What should I give up? Should I do something instead? I just don't know!!!
Okay, calm. This is not a time to panic, this is a time of purification, of sanctification.
A time to try and make yourself a better person.
Think New Years Resolution, but better (well, actually I've never been a huge one for NY resolutions, so that's not much of a comparison for me...)
It's a time to look at your life. What are you overly attached to? What do you feel like you couldn't cope without? Material things? Food? Maybe it's time to try and deal with that attachment.
Traditionally for Lent you should participate in fasting, prayer and almsgiving.
Fasting:
I've already done a post on one idea for fasting, although of course there's always the ever popular giving up chocolate or cigarettes or whatever may take your fancy.
I've already given up quite a lot lately in terms of food, but this Lent I'm going to try and make sure I only snack on food I've made myself. It should be healthier, I'll hopefully lose some more weight, and save some money. And, of course, while I'm busy making food with my own hands, I can spend more time being thankful for the food I have, for the kitchen in which I can make it, and for the very fact that I'm able to make food.
Almsgiving:
Almsgiving is giving to the poor. Donating to charity. Doing something out of kindness.
So this could be a good opportunity for taking something up. Perhaps you could find a local soup kitchen and donate some time there. Perhaps you could just give some money to charity. Next time you walk past a homeless person in the street you could offer to buy them some food or give them a coffee?
This Lent I'm going to try and do at least one RAK (random act of kindness) per day. I've no idea what they will be right now, but I shall try and keep the blog updated with what they are and how I do.
Prayer:
As one of my 30 before 30 is to try and say morning and evening prayer every day for a month, Lent seems like the perfect time to start. Mind you, I say this often, and often fail fairly quickly, so let's find out whether having told you guys I'm going to do this will give me the encouragement I need.
As an additional thing, and I may do a fuller post on this in the future, lately I've been feeling a pull in my heart towards veiling during Mass and in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. Whether this will be a long term thing I really do not know, but to help with my discernment, I have decided to ensure my head is covered whenever I go to church during Lent.
There are some fabulous blog posts around regarding this topic, and I've linked to a few of my favourites below:
http://www.lauramcalister.com/2013/07/16/should-i-veil-a-debate-between-me-my-brain/ - This pretty much feels like where my brain is at right now.
http://www.conversiondiary.com/2013/02/notes-from-beneath-the-veil.html
http://chastityproject.com/2014/05/veiled-sake-angels/
So how about you? what are your plans for this Lent?
For some reason, everytime I realise Lent's just around the corner it sends me into a mild state of panic. What should I give up? Should I do something instead? I just don't know!!!
Okay, calm. This is not a time to panic, this is a time of purification, of sanctification.
A time to try and make yourself a better person.
Think New Years Resolution, but better (well, actually I've never been a huge one for NY resolutions, so that's not much of a comparison for me...)
It's a time to look at your life. What are you overly attached to? What do you feel like you couldn't cope without? Material things? Food? Maybe it's time to try and deal with that attachment.
Traditionally for Lent you should participate in fasting, prayer and almsgiving.
Fasting:
I've already done a post on one idea for fasting, although of course there's always the ever popular giving up chocolate or cigarettes or whatever may take your fancy.
I've already given up quite a lot lately in terms of food, but this Lent I'm going to try and make sure I only snack on food I've made myself. It should be healthier, I'll hopefully lose some more weight, and save some money. And, of course, while I'm busy making food with my own hands, I can spend more time being thankful for the food I have, for the kitchen in which I can make it, and for the very fact that I'm able to make food.
Almsgiving:
Almsgiving is giving to the poor. Donating to charity. Doing something out of kindness.
So this could be a good opportunity for taking something up. Perhaps you could find a local soup kitchen and donate some time there. Perhaps you could just give some money to charity. Next time you walk past a homeless person in the street you could offer to buy them some food or give them a coffee?
This Lent I'm going to try and do at least one RAK (random act of kindness) per day. I've no idea what they will be right now, but I shall try and keep the blog updated with what they are and how I do.
Prayer:
As one of my 30 before 30 is to try and say morning and evening prayer every day for a month, Lent seems like the perfect time to start. Mind you, I say this often, and often fail fairly quickly, so let's find out whether having told you guys I'm going to do this will give me the encouragement I need.
As an additional thing, and I may do a fuller post on this in the future, lately I've been feeling a pull in my heart towards veiling during Mass and in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. Whether this will be a long term thing I really do not know, but to help with my discernment, I have decided to ensure my head is covered whenever I go to church during Lent.
There are some fabulous blog posts around regarding this topic, and I've linked to a few of my favourites below:
http://www.lauramcalister.com/2013/07/16/should-i-veil-a-debate-between-me-my-brain/ - This pretty much feels like where my brain is at right now.
http://www.conversiondiary.com/2013/02/notes-from-beneath-the-veil.html
http://chastityproject.com/2014/05/veiled-sake-angels/
So how about you? what are your plans for this Lent?
Tuesday 3 February 2015
Are you woman enough to give up makeup?
So this post from Life Teen on 102 things to give up for Lent came up on my newsfeed the other day and it got me thinking.
Now some of the things on the list I don't do anyway (spitting gum onto the pavement? Disgusting), so obviously can't give up, Others on there I don't feel like I need to give up (I mean Pizza? come on - and I don't eat it much anyway on account of the whole funny diet thing).
One or two of them were things I regularly do anyway. I regularly give up (most) makeup for lent, restricting myself to concealer, mascara (or for special occasions - although then I make myself have the mentality that it's the same as putting on pretty clothes. It's to look different to normal, not because I don't like the way I look.
This is something that I think we, as women, particularly in the modern world, struggle with a lot. And I used a huge number of commas in that sentence. My GCSE teacher would not be happy with me... Anyway, yes. Struggle. We are told so often that we have to look perfect. We have to look beautiful and totally put together at all times. If we're having a bad hair day, or have a breakout, or are larger than a size 8, or have an unusually shaped nose, we're just not good enough.
I went through the whole of my school career hating my hair. People constantly mocked me for it, and it has taken me a long time to come to terms with it. Even now I tend to have it tied up a lot if I don't feel like it's perfect when it's down - fun side of that though is that I've learnt a lot of new things to do with my hair, so it's getting to the point where I tie my hair up because I like the way it looks. For those of you who know me though, it's worth saying that this has never applied to the colour of my hair. I like my natural hair colour, I just prefer the various shades of red it's been over the past 7 1/2 years...
It's so easy to look in a mirror and point out your flaws, but that's not how we should be living. My eyes are too small, my nose is too big, my pores are too visible, the shadows under my eyes are too dark. Maybe if I slather my face in makeup these faults will be hidden and people won't notice.
The whole "no-makeup selfie" thing actually made me really sad. The idea that people are having to be brave to post a photo of themselves without makeup on is just... well, is that really how life should be?
I find that, from time to time, particularly if I've been wearing a lot of makeup regularly, I get to a point where I'm wearing makeup because I don't like the way my face is without it. The first time I really noticed this was shortly before lent one year, so I figured, since lent is the perfect time to give up things you are overly attached to, it was the perfect thing to give up that year. I've pretty much repeated the practise every year.
So here's my question. How attached to your makeup are you? Do you wear makeup because you prefer the way you look with it or because you don't like the way you look without it. If the answer is a completely honest yes to the first part, then feel free to carry on. If the latter, then maybe this is an area of your life you should look at.
Maybe this is the year you challenge yourself to be woman enough to give up makeup for lent and learn to love yourself for who you truly are.
Hmm... this post went in a completely different direction to how I originally planned, so I shall just have to do another one soon!
Now some of the things on the list I don't do anyway (spitting gum onto the pavement? Disgusting), so obviously can't give up, Others on there I don't feel like I need to give up (I mean Pizza? come on - and I don't eat it much anyway on account of the whole funny diet thing).
One or two of them were things I regularly do anyway. I regularly give up (most) makeup for lent, restricting myself to concealer, mascara (or for special occasions - although then I make myself have the mentality that it's the same as putting on pretty clothes. It's to look different to normal, not because I don't like the way I look.
This is something that I think we, as women, particularly in the modern world, struggle with a lot. And I used a huge number of commas in that sentence. My GCSE teacher would not be happy with me... Anyway, yes. Struggle. We are told so often that we have to look perfect. We have to look beautiful and totally put together at all times. If we're having a bad hair day, or have a breakout, or are larger than a size 8, or have an unusually shaped nose, we're just not good enough.
I went through the whole of my school career hating my hair. People constantly mocked me for it, and it has taken me a long time to come to terms with it. Even now I tend to have it tied up a lot if I don't feel like it's perfect when it's down - fun side of that though is that I've learnt a lot of new things to do with my hair, so it's getting to the point where I tie my hair up because I like the way it looks. For those of you who know me though, it's worth saying that this has never applied to the colour of my hair. I like my natural hair colour, I just prefer the various shades of red it's been over the past 7 1/2 years...
It's so easy to look in a mirror and point out your flaws, but that's not how we should be living. My eyes are too small, my nose is too big, my pores are too visible, the shadows under my eyes are too dark. Maybe if I slather my face in makeup these faults will be hidden and people won't notice.
The whole "no-makeup selfie" thing actually made me really sad. The idea that people are having to be brave to post a photo of themselves without makeup on is just... well, is that really how life should be?
I find that, from time to time, particularly if I've been wearing a lot of makeup regularly, I get to a point where I'm wearing makeup because I don't like the way my face is without it. The first time I really noticed this was shortly before lent one year, so I figured, since lent is the perfect time to give up things you are overly attached to, it was the perfect thing to give up that year. I've pretty much repeated the practise every year.
So here's my question. How attached to your makeup are you? Do you wear makeup because you prefer the way you look with it or because you don't like the way you look without it. If the answer is a completely honest yes to the first part, then feel free to carry on. If the latter, then maybe this is an area of your life you should look at.
Maybe this is the year you challenge yourself to be woman enough to give up makeup for lent and learn to love yourself for who you truly are.
Hmm... this post went in a completely different direction to how I originally planned, so I shall just have to do another one soon!
Sunday 1 February 2015
Confirmation Classes, Ten Ten Theatre and Love
This weekend sees the kick-off of the confirmation course for my home parish. I've been involved here since I came back home after my year at SPEC (well I couldn't let my skills learnt there go to waste now, could I?)
We've had to start off a little differently this year. Normally we head off to the fabulous SPEC who up until last year were based not too far away from us. Sadly they have moved (although their new home grounds are beautiful) and are currently unable to provide residential retreats. Instead we invited TenTen Theatre to come and run a retreat day for us.
The day was spent looking at love. How we learn about love, how love affects us, what is and what isn't love.
Although it wasn't mentioned all day (at least as far I know, there were a couple of points during the day where us catechists were kicked out for discussions) I kept thinking about 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. You know which one... Yeah, y'know, that one. The one that's all sappy and lovey-dovey and over used for weddings. Yeah, the one that's all about love being patient and kind etc etc. Yeah, that one. The one about how beautiful and easy love it.
Except it's not. It's really not saying that love is easy. Pretty much the opposite in fact.
Fun fact for you. As a child I was in the church choir. We sang at loads of weddings. I used to love it. Partly because we got paid (which is always fun), but also because I just love weddings. I love looking at the dresses (and would occasionally draw my dream dress on a piece of tissue/scrap paper), deciding what music I wanted at my wedding, and deciding what readings I was going to have. Or more to the point, deciding which were way overused and would just be tacky. Right at the top of that list was 1 Cor 13:4-7.
Then I went to a retreat at Ampleforth Abbey. And you know that expression "Mind Blown"? Yeah, that pretty much sums up my attitude towards that passage.
The monk (and much to my shame I have forgotten which one it was) told us that whenever a couple come to him wanting this reading, he tells them to go away, read it again properly, and then come back to him. It's not about love being sweet and pleasant and easy, it's hard and tough and difficult.
Love is always patient, Love is never jealous, it is never rude, it is always ready to make allowances.
Not just when you feel like it, not just when you're in the right mood. Not even just when the situation deserves it. Always and Never.
Always and Never.
So now, I want this reading at my wedding (y'know, if it ever happens). Pretty much anything else is up for discussion (well, as long as it's a Catholic Mass), but that has to be a reading. Oh, and I want the priest to discuss that in the homily.
I once heard someone very wise say that when you can replace the word love with your name, you are truly love. So although I fail (and I fail often), I aim to be able to say "Ann is always patient, Ann is never jealous..."
Always and Never.
We've had to start off a little differently this year. Normally we head off to the fabulous SPEC who up until last year were based not too far away from us. Sadly they have moved (although their new home grounds are beautiful) and are currently unable to provide residential retreats. Instead we invited TenTen Theatre to come and run a retreat day for us.
The day was spent looking at love. How we learn about love, how love affects us, what is and what isn't love.
Although it wasn't mentioned all day (at least as far I know, there were a couple of points during the day where us catechists were kicked out for discussions) I kept thinking about 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. You know which one... Yeah, y'know, that one. The one that's all sappy and lovey-dovey and over used for weddings. Yeah, the one that's all about love being patient and kind etc etc. Yeah, that one. The one about how beautiful and easy love it.
Except it's not. It's really not saying that love is easy. Pretty much the opposite in fact.
Fun fact for you. As a child I was in the church choir. We sang at loads of weddings. I used to love it. Partly because we got paid (which is always fun), but also because I just love weddings. I love looking at the dresses (and would occasionally draw my dream dress on a piece of tissue/scrap paper), deciding what music I wanted at my wedding, and deciding what readings I was going to have. Or more to the point, deciding which were way overused and would just be tacky. Right at the top of that list was 1 Cor 13:4-7.
Then I went to a retreat at Ampleforth Abbey. And you know that expression "Mind Blown"? Yeah, that pretty much sums up my attitude towards that passage.
The monk (and much to my shame I have forgotten which one it was) told us that whenever a couple come to him wanting this reading, he tells them to go away, read it again properly, and then come back to him. It's not about love being sweet and pleasant and easy, it's hard and tough and difficult.
Love is always patient, Love is never jealous, it is never rude, it is always ready to make allowances.
Not just when you feel like it, not just when you're in the right mood. Not even just when the situation deserves it. Always and Never.
Always and Never.
So now, I want this reading at my wedding (y'know, if it ever happens). Pretty much anything else is up for discussion (well, as long as it's a Catholic Mass), but that has to be a reading. Oh, and I want the priest to discuss that in the homily.
I once heard someone very wise say that when you can replace the word love with your name, you are truly love. So although I fail (and I fail often), I aim to be able to say "Ann is always patient, Ann is never jealous..."
Always and Never.
Wednesday 28 January 2015
Valentines is coming...
In many previous years this time of year has made me incredibly sad. Well, a combination of feeling like wallowing in tears and wanting to throw up at the extreme soppiness that's around. Big red hearts everywhere: "Buy me for your loved one!" "You need me to make your relationship last!" "You're not worth anything if you're not in a relationship!"
Okay, I don't think that last one is the intention, but it certainly seems to be the message implied. It almost brings love down to the level of "he who loves the most, will buy the most." If you don't buy me expensive gifts, you clearly don't love me enough.
The teddies and cards and flowers and tea infusers (yes, Paperchase is selling valentines tea infusers - they have a tag on that says "You're just my cup of tea" - If I liked tea I would probably be unable to resist buying it for myself...) are all very lovely, but what do they actually say about love?
Is love, and should love be shown through gifts? Well, perhaps if you're a gifts love person (I'll try and do a post about the 5 love languages at some point, but in the meantime, go google! It's fascinating), but then you're all about the thought, and not about the money. Should Valentine's day even be all about couples?
Now I seem to be perpetually single, but right now I'm perfectly happy with that. I'm learning how to love myself, so that, if marriage is in my future, I can love better. Learning to know myself so that I can learn more about what I need in a future husband.
So this year, instead of all the valentines decor making me think "I wish I had someone to buy that for me" or "I wish someone would send me a dozen red roses" it's making me see the love everywhere. (Well, okay, I'm probably never going to stop wishing someone would send me flowers, but hey, a girl can hope, right?)
A couple of years ago there was a bit of a campaign to make Singles Awareness Day a thing. Celebrated on the 15th February, it never seemed to me like a great idea. People who are unhappy about being single, and make more unhappy by Valentines Day, aren't going to suddenly be made happy again by a day which draws even more awareness to it...
To my mind, the better thing to do would be to try and make Valentines Day about all forms of love. Familial love, friendship love, love for a stranger.
Why not challenge yourself to show an act of love and of kindness to someone you might not usually. Give a "You're beautiful" card to someone alone in the street. Visit the elderly neighbour who lives by themself. Send a note to a work-colleague with something you admire about them.
So what are my plans for this single yet again Valentines? Well, I'm going to spend some time with Jesus, some friends, and a whole load of other Catholic youths at Youth2000 in Leeds
So how about you? Single? Coupled up? Happy with how you are? Any ideas for ways to spread the love on Valentines? Let me know in the comments below!
Okay, I don't think that last one is the intention, but it certainly seems to be the message implied. It almost brings love down to the level of "he who loves the most, will buy the most." If you don't buy me expensive gifts, you clearly don't love me enough.
The teddies and cards and flowers and tea infusers (yes, Paperchase is selling valentines tea infusers - they have a tag on that says "You're just my cup of tea" - If I liked tea I would probably be unable to resist buying it for myself...) are all very lovely, but what do they actually say about love?
Is love, and should love be shown through gifts? Well, perhaps if you're a gifts love person (I'll try and do a post about the 5 love languages at some point, but in the meantime, go google! It's fascinating), but then you're all about the thought, and not about the money. Should Valentine's day even be all about couples?
Now I seem to be perpetually single, but right now I'm perfectly happy with that. I'm learning how to love myself, so that, if marriage is in my future, I can love better. Learning to know myself so that I can learn more about what I need in a future husband.
So this year, instead of all the valentines decor making me think "I wish I had someone to buy that for me" or "I wish someone would send me a dozen red roses" it's making me see the love everywhere. (Well, okay, I'm probably never going to stop wishing someone would send me flowers, but hey, a girl can hope, right?)
A couple of years ago there was a bit of a campaign to make Singles Awareness Day a thing. Celebrated on the 15th February, it never seemed to me like a great idea. People who are unhappy about being single, and make more unhappy by Valentines Day, aren't going to suddenly be made happy again by a day which draws even more awareness to it...
To my mind, the better thing to do would be to try and make Valentines Day about all forms of love. Familial love, friendship love, love for a stranger.
Why not challenge yourself to show an act of love and of kindness to someone you might not usually. Give a "You're beautiful" card to someone alone in the street. Visit the elderly neighbour who lives by themself. Send a note to a work-colleague with something you admire about them.
So what are my plans for this single yet again Valentines? Well, I'm going to spend some time with Jesus, some friends, and a whole load of other Catholic youths at Youth2000 in Leeds
So how about you? Single? Coupled up? Happy with how you are? Any ideas for ways to spread the love on Valentines? Let me know in the comments below!
Tuesday 20 January 2015
Patron Saint of Irony?
God definitely has a strange sense of humour...
I've been reading quite a few blog posts recently which talk about taking a patron saint for the year. I'd heard someone speak a few years ago about how they allow God to show them a new saint to journey with each year and at the time had thought it was a beautiful idea. As usual though, I never quite got round to it...
The blog posts I looked at all mentioned the following website: http://jenniferfulwiler.com/saints/
Easy and simple. Click the button, pray for the right saint to come to you, and click again.
I clicked the first time half absentmindedly, wondering who it might be, so was very glad for the prompt to pray about who it would be.
Then came the big reveal... Who is it? Who is it?
St. Honorius of Amiens.
Oooh... not a saint I've heard of before. That's exciting. I get to learn about someone new.
Okay, what else does this tell me about the saint?
Feast Day: 16th May
Right, I shall have to try and remember that and do something special. It's a few days after my mother's birthday, so that might prompt me...
Okay, next up...
Patronage: Against Drought; Bakers; Bakers of Holy Wafers; Cake Makers; Candlemakers; Chandlers; Confectioners; Corn Chandlers; Florists; Flour Merchants; Oil Refiners; Pastry Chefs
Oh... Really?
Now Cake Makers I can get right behind. I love baking!
However, lately I've been having digestive issues (suspected ibs) and since October I've been trying a funny diet called the FODMAP diet. There are plenty of resources around on the internet if you want to go and look it up, but the essentials of it are no fructose, no lactose, and no gluten.
Yes, that's right. I'm currently avoiding flour and I've been given the patron saint of flour merchants and lots of things that involve gluten. Irony levels right now are pretty high...
But, there must be a reason behind it, and I'm sure that it will be revealed in time.
Has anyone else picked a saint for the year? Anything unusual about them? Do feel free to share!
I've been reading quite a few blog posts recently which talk about taking a patron saint for the year. I'd heard someone speak a few years ago about how they allow God to show them a new saint to journey with each year and at the time had thought it was a beautiful idea. As usual though, I never quite got round to it...
The blog posts I looked at all mentioned the following website: http://jenniferfulwiler.com/saints/
Easy and simple. Click the button, pray for the right saint to come to you, and click again.
I clicked the first time half absentmindedly, wondering who it might be, so was very glad for the prompt to pray about who it would be.
Then came the big reveal... Who is it? Who is it?
St. Honorius of Amiens.
Oooh... not a saint I've heard of before. That's exciting. I get to learn about someone new.
Okay, what else does this tell me about the saint?
Feast Day: 16th May
Right, I shall have to try and remember that and do something special. It's a few days after my mother's birthday, so that might prompt me...
Okay, next up...
Patronage: Against Drought; Bakers; Bakers of Holy Wafers; Cake Makers; Candlemakers; Chandlers; Confectioners; Corn Chandlers; Florists; Flour Merchants; Oil Refiners; Pastry Chefs
Oh... Really?
Now Cake Makers I can get right behind. I love baking!
However, lately I've been having digestive issues (suspected ibs) and since October I've been trying a funny diet called the FODMAP diet. There are plenty of resources around on the internet if you want to go and look it up, but the essentials of it are no fructose, no lactose, and no gluten.
Yes, that's right. I'm currently avoiding flour and I've been given the patron saint of flour merchants and lots of things that involve gluten. Irony levels right now are pretty high...
But, there must be a reason behind it, and I'm sure that it will be revealed in time.
Has anyone else picked a saint for the year? Anything unusual about them? Do feel free to share!
Saturday 17 January 2015
30 before 30
A year or so ago I thought it would be fun to come up with a 30 before 30 list.
Being the grand old ago of 26 I've only got a few years left to do this, so I'd better get started...
I started the list on pinterest and then half forgot about it. Having remembered earlier this evening, I figured it would be a good idea to see where I'd got to with them.
Turns out I only put 10 on there, so to start with I shall add in a new one...
1. Create this list. (This totally counts, right?)
2. Pray the Divine Office every day for a month (or at least morning and evening pray). - I think Lent would be a wonderful time to try and do this, so I'll give it a go then.
3. Go on a silent retreat.
4. Attend a Papal Mass - I did technically attend a Papal Mass at World Youth Day in Madrid, but since I was having fun with heatstroke or exhaustion or something, I don't remember anything. I know it was a bit wet and windy... (I have been informed that there was a huge thunderstorm and it has been referred to fondly by others as the night the Pope's hat fell off). Which brings me onto my next one...
5. Attend (another) World Youth Day. Now since there's only going to be one before I'm 30, I'm a little limited. Krakow it shall have to be! Only slight potential issue there is health... I would love to go but may have to think a bit seriously about it.
6.Attempt couch to 5k - I think I can cross this one off. I did attempt it, and completed the first week, but my knees don't like it. I might give it another go one day, but for now I think it may have to be it.
7. Visit Auchswitz
8. Go on a road trip
9. Spend New Years in Times Square - I'm not sure about this anymore. a) I suspect it would be too crowded to be enjoyable anyway, and b) there's no way it's going to happen financially, not in the next 3 years anyway. If I think of something better I can always replace it.
10. Pilgrimage to Rome - I've visited Rome a few times, but always just as a tourist. I think going mainly for the religious side of it would be wonderful.
11. Read 100 new books - I think I should start a new page and keep track of what I've read to see if I can succeed with this!
12.Sell something I've made - Done this Christmas! I sold two pairs of fingerless mittens.
Right, now for some new ones...
13. Visit Assisi.
14. Get my honours degree
15. Go to Disney (World, land, Paris, I don't care, I just want to be a princess!)
16. Find a job I actually want to do/have
17. Figure out my vocation (as if it's going to be that easy...)
18.Read every book CS Lewis has written Just looked at his bibliography. Yeah... That's not happening. Editing it to: Reading all of his signature classics.
19. Walk the Camino (or at least the last section)
20. Go to work with an Ash Wednesday cross on my forehead.
21. Make enough items of clothing for myself to be able to wear a different outfit every day for a week.
21. Make a full costume for myself and attend MCM comic con wearing it. (Currently thinking either Ariel or Anna)
22. Dye my hair proper full on Ariel pillar box red.
23. Figure out my diet/what makes me ill
24...
Hmm... I seem to be running out of ideas... If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know!
Being the grand old ago of 26 I've only got a few years left to do this, so I'd better get started...
I started the list on pinterest and then half forgot about it. Having remembered earlier this evening, I figured it would be a good idea to see where I'd got to with them.
Turns out I only put 10 on there, so to start with I shall add in a new one...
1. Create this list. (This totally counts, right?)
2. Pray the Divine Office every day for a month (or at least morning and evening pray). - I think Lent would be a wonderful time to try and do this, so I'll give it a go then.
3. Go on a silent retreat.
4. Attend a Papal Mass - I did technically attend a Papal Mass at World Youth Day in Madrid, but since I was having fun with heatstroke or exhaustion or something, I don't remember anything. I know it was a bit wet and windy... (I have been informed that there was a huge thunderstorm and it has been referred to fondly by others as the night the Pope's hat fell off). Which brings me onto my next one...
5. Attend (another) World Youth Day. Now since there's only going to be one before I'm 30, I'm a little limited. Krakow it shall have to be! Only slight potential issue there is health... I would love to go but may have to think a bit seriously about it.
6.
7. Visit Auchswitz
8. Go on a road trip
9. Spend New Years in Times Square - I'm not sure about this anymore. a) I suspect it would be too crowded to be enjoyable anyway, and b) there's no way it's going to happen financially, not in the next 3 years anyway. If I think of something better I can always replace it.
10. Pilgrimage to Rome - I've visited Rome a few times, but always just as a tourist. I think going mainly for the religious side of it would be wonderful.
11. Read 100 new books - I think I should start a new page and keep track of what I've read to see if I can succeed with this!
12.
Right, now for some new ones...
13. Visit Assisi.
14. Get my honours degree
15. Go to Disney (World, land, Paris, I don't care, I just want to be a princess!)
16. Find a job I actually want to do/have
17. Figure out my vocation (as if it's going to be that easy...)
18.
19. Walk the Camino (or at least the last section)
20. Go to work with an Ash Wednesday cross on my forehead.
21. Make enough items of clothing for myself to be able to wear a different outfit every day for a week.
21. Make a full costume for myself and attend MCM comic con wearing it. (Currently thinking either Ariel or Anna)
22. Dye my hair proper full on Ariel pillar box red.
23. Figure out my diet/what makes me ill
24...
Hmm... I seem to be running out of ideas... If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know!
Sunday 11 January 2015
New Years, new post!
Well that went really well...
No posts since September? Well done me.
Time to try again. I'd quite like to attempt to actually write on here more regularly, so new years resolution is to try and post at least a couple of times a month. Maybe it'll be more, who knows?
Anyway, I have just got back from the cinema and seeing Into The Woods (a really rather fabulous film) with the lovely Christine and Bekah. Friend time is something I don't get enough of, and really should try and increase instead of just spending hours at home watching Netflix... I'm terrible at staying in contact with people, so should really try and get better at doing that.
I've been struggling a little with where I am at the moment in terms of life - part time jobs, living at home with the family, not being particularly near people I know...
Bekah had some wonderful words of wisdom that I wanted to get down on paper, so figure why not use them for a post on here?
She compared life to being like watching the sunrise. It doesn't matter what you do, the sun will rise. Doesn't matter how hard you wish it, it won't rise any faster. The best thing to do is to pay attention and enjoy every moment of the process of sunrise. If you miss that particular moment, it won't come round again. If you miss that pink, or the way that cloud catches the rising sun at that moment, you won't see it again. Yes, it's dark to begin with, yes it may be freezing cold and you may wish you were somewhere else or that it was warmer, but there is real beauty there if you watch for it.
Beautiful, right? What a fabulous girl she is.
So that's my target for now. Watch for the beautiful moments. Enjoy my jobs, enjoy spending time with my family. With a couple of illnesses at the moment, the last one feels particularly important - you never know how long you'll have with them. Stop doing the whole 'the grass is always greener' thing, and learn to be happy where you are. It's tough, but I need to give it a go.
So there we have it. Three targets for the year ahead. Be better at staying in touch with people, write on here, and learn to be happy. No biggie...
No posts since September? Well done me.
Time to try again. I'd quite like to attempt to actually write on here more regularly, so new years resolution is to try and post at least a couple of times a month. Maybe it'll be more, who knows?
Anyway, I have just got back from the cinema and seeing Into The Woods (a really rather fabulous film) with the lovely Christine and Bekah. Friend time is something I don't get enough of, and really should try and increase instead of just spending hours at home watching Netflix... I'm terrible at staying in contact with people, so should really try and get better at doing that.
I've been struggling a little with where I am at the moment in terms of life - part time jobs, living at home with the family, not being particularly near people I know...
Bekah had some wonderful words of wisdom that I wanted to get down on paper, so figure why not use them for a post on here?
She compared life to being like watching the sunrise. It doesn't matter what you do, the sun will rise. Doesn't matter how hard you wish it, it won't rise any faster. The best thing to do is to pay attention and enjoy every moment of the process of sunrise. If you miss that particular moment, it won't come round again. If you miss that pink, or the way that cloud catches the rising sun at that moment, you won't see it again. Yes, it's dark to begin with, yes it may be freezing cold and you may wish you were somewhere else or that it was warmer, but there is real beauty there if you watch for it.
Beautiful, right? What a fabulous girl she is.
So that's my target for now. Watch for the beautiful moments. Enjoy my jobs, enjoy spending time with my family. With a couple of illnesses at the moment, the last one feels particularly important - you never know how long you'll have with them. Stop doing the whole 'the grass is always greener' thing, and learn to be happy where you are. It's tough, but I need to give it a go.
So there we have it. Three targets for the year ahead. Be better at staying in touch with people, write on here, and learn to be happy. No biggie...
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