This weekend sees the kick-off of the confirmation course for my home parish. I've been involved here since I came back home after my year at SPEC (well I couldn't let my skills learnt there go to waste now, could I?)
We've had to start off a little differently this year. Normally we head off to the fabulous SPEC who up until last year were based not too far away from us. Sadly they have moved (although their new home grounds are beautiful) and are currently unable to provide residential retreats. Instead we invited TenTen Theatre to come and run a retreat day for us.
The day was spent looking at love. How we learn about love, how love affects us, what is and what isn't love.
Although it wasn't mentioned all day (at least as far I know, there were a couple of points during the day where us catechists were kicked out for discussions) I kept thinking about 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. You know which one... Yeah, y'know, that one. The one that's all sappy and lovey-dovey and over used for weddings. Yeah, the one that's all about love being patient and kind etc etc. Yeah, that one. The one about how beautiful and easy love it.
Except it's not. It's really not saying that love is easy. Pretty much the opposite in fact.
Fun fact for you. As a child I was in the church choir. We sang at loads of weddings. I used to love it. Partly because we got paid (which is always fun), but also because I just love weddings. I love looking at the dresses (and would occasionally draw my dream dress on a piece of tissue/scrap paper), deciding what music I wanted at my wedding, and deciding what readings I was going to have. Or more to the point, deciding which were way overused and would just be tacky. Right at the top of that list was 1 Cor 13:4-7.
Then I went to a retreat at Ampleforth Abbey. And you know that expression "Mind Blown"? Yeah, that pretty much sums up my attitude towards that passage.
The monk (and much to my shame I have forgotten which one it was) told us that whenever a couple come to him wanting this reading, he tells them to go away, read it again properly, and then come back to him. It's not about love being sweet and pleasant and easy, it's hard and tough and difficult.
Love is always patient, Love is never jealous, it is never rude, it is always ready to make allowances.
Not just when you feel like it, not just when you're in the right mood. Not even just when the situation deserves it. Always and Never.
Always and Never.
So now, I want this reading at my wedding (y'know, if it ever happens). Pretty much anything else is up for discussion (well, as long as it's a Catholic Mass), but that has to be a reading. Oh, and I want the priest to discuss that in the homily.
I once heard someone very wise say that when you can replace the word love with your name, you are truly love. So although I fail (and I fail often), I aim to be able to say "Ann is always patient, Ann is never jealous..."
Always and Never.
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