So what now...? (World Youth Day Part I)

If you've been paying attention, you'll have spotted that one of the newly ticked off items on my 30 before 30 was World Youth Day.

If you're looking at this blog, I guess it's likely that you know what World Youth Day is, but in case anyone's glancing this way without that knowledge, the basic gist is this.  World youth day is a huge gathering of Catholic young people (which for the Church is 18-35), which has been held every 2-3 years since 1987. You get people attending from all over the world. Part of the draw of the whole thing is that the Pope goes and leads the final Mass. Now when I say this is a huge gathering, I really do mean it! At the final vigil/Mass with Papa Frankie, an estimated 1.5-2 million people attended. To put that into some kind of context, Glastonbury tends to have around 150,000 - 200,000 people.

Yep, that's right.

I'll just let that number of people sink in for a minute.

Given how well the media reports on the event, particularly in the UK, you'd be forgiven for not realising what a big deal it is. Being at home during the previous one, held in Rio in 2013, I found it really interesting how the media would report on some of the things Papa Frankie was up to, without actually mentioning the reason for him being there, and from what I can see, the same thing happened with Kraków.  One fantastic example of this was this article, reporting on the tragic martyrdom of Fr Jaques Hamel where the quote from the Bishop of Rouen was taken while he was at "a Catholic gathering in Poland". To be fair to the BBC though, they did also publish some video diaries from a few of our pilgrims.

Being surrounded by that number of young people who all have the same passion for God that you do can be incredibly intoxicating. Right around now, all over the world, young pilgrims will be feeling the WYD come down. This is the key moment for them. For a large number of those 2 million people, this will be a life changing experience. Some will have found their vocations - whether to religious life, the priesthood, or marriage. Others will still be searching, but will have discovered what their next step should be. There will have been some there who have been struggling with their faith, for whom this will have been a call back into the embrace of the church. Some pilgrims will have been to confession for the first time in years, some will have found a new devotion to a particular Saint or saints, and for some this may have been their first experience of the universal nature of the Church.  There will be others for whom this will not feel like a massively life-changing event, but simply another step on their faith journey.

No one can attend a World Youth Day and return unchanged. The important thing now is to keep hold of that change.  It is so easy to love your God, your faith and your Church when you're in that high place. Now is the time to bring that love and joy back and share it with the rest of the world.

As Papa Frankie said in his final homily, what Jesus desires is for us, like Zaccheus, to "Come down, for I must stay at your house today" (Luke 19:5). (If you've not read his homily, go do it. It's challenging and comforting in equal parts, as all good homilies should be! It can be found here.

In today's world, we have a terrible tendency to be Sunday Catholics. We compartmentalise. We say "God, I'm all yours.

...On a Sunday... During Mass."

And  then ignore Him the rest of the time. This is always the danger when it comes to events like World Yourh Day, that's these all consuming, super intense events will be just another Sunday, and we'll go back to our everyday life just as before. Zaccheus was forever changed by his encounter with Jesus, and so too must we be.

I'll write another post soon with more content on what we actually got up to at world youth day, but for now, I'd like to recommend a temporary fix for the WYD comedown... Youth2000 do fantastic retreats, and the big one is coming up - in Walsingham over the bank holiday weekend.

More details can be found at Youth2000's website

Oops...

Well, as you can see I've done phenomenally well at keeping this blog up to date having not posted at all since starting my new job...

So let's see. In the past year I've ticked off quite a lot of my list, ranging from dying my hair bright red to attending World Youth Day! There are still a lot of items left on the list, but I have a few plans in place for some of them. Others I'm not sure I'm going to manage, but I can still hope and try!

It's been really interesting looking back over the list when I thought I should check where I was up to. There are things on there that I'd completely forgotten about, and other things that if I were to do the list now I'm not sure I'd put on there. I also still need to find something for 27, and start thinking about what number 28 is going to be!

So this is just a quick update from me. I'm going to try and write some longer posts later, including some about the last couple of weeks in Poland! For now though, this blog isn't quite dead yet, it's just been resting...

Are you woman enough to give up makeup?

So this post from Life Teen on 102 things to give up for Lent came up on my newsfeed the other day and it got me thinking.

Now some of the things on the list I don't do anyway (spitting gum onto the pavement?  Disgusting), so obviously can't give up, Others on there I don't feel like I need to give up (I mean Pizza? come on - and I don't eat it much anyway on account of the whole funny diet thing).

One or two of them were things I regularly do anyway.  I regularly give up (most) makeup for lent, restricting myself to concealer, mascara (or for special occasions - although then I make myself have the mentality that it's the same as putting on pretty clothes.  It's to look different to normal, not because I don't like the way I look.

This is something that I think we, as women, particularly in the modern world, struggle with a lot. And I used a huge number of commas in that sentence. My GCSE teacher would not be happy with me... Anyway, yes.  Struggle.  We are told so often that we have to look perfect.  We have to look beautiful and totally put together at all times.  If we're having a bad hair day, or have a breakout, or are larger than a size 8, or have an unusually shaped nose, we're just not good enough.

I went through the whole of my school career hating my hair. People constantly mocked me for it, and it has taken me a long time to come to terms with it.  Even now I tend to have it tied up a lot if I don't feel like it's perfect when it's down - fun side of that though is that I've learnt a lot of new things to do with my hair, so it's getting to the point where I tie my hair up because I like the way it looks. For those of you who know me though, it's worth saying that this has never applied to the colour of my hair.  I like my natural hair colour, I just prefer the various shades of red it's been over the past 7 1/2 years...

It's so easy to look in a mirror and point out your flaws, but that's not how we should be living. My eyes are too small, my nose is too big, my pores are too visible, the shadows under my eyes are too dark. Maybe if I slather my face in makeup these faults will be hidden and people won't notice.

The whole "no-makeup selfie" thing actually made me really sad.  The idea that people are having to be brave to post a photo of themselves without makeup on is just... well, is that really how life should be?

I find that, from time to time, particularly if I've been wearing a lot of makeup regularly, I get to a point where I'm wearing makeup because I don't like the way my face is without it.  The first time I really noticed this was shortly before lent one year, so I figured, since lent is the perfect time to give up things you are overly attached to, it was the perfect thing to give up that year.  I've pretty much repeated the practise every year.

So here's my question.  How attached to your makeup are you? Do you wear makeup because you prefer the way you look with it or because you don't like the way you look without it.  If the answer is a completely honest yes to the first part, then feel free to carry on.  If the latter, then maybe this is an area of your life you should look at.

Maybe this is the year you challenge yourself to be woman enough to give up makeup for lent and learn to love yourself for who you truly are.

Hmm... this post went in a completely different direction to how I originally planned, so I shall just have to do another one soon!

Confirmation Classes, Ten Ten Theatre and Love

This weekend sees the kick-off of the confirmation course for my home parish. I've been involved here since I came back home after my year at SPEC (well I couldn't let my skills learnt there go to waste now, could I?)

We've had to start off a little differently this year.  Normally we head off to the fabulous SPEC who up until last year were based not too far away from us.  Sadly they have moved (although their new home grounds are beautiful) and are currently unable to provide residential retreats. Instead we invited TenTen Theatre to come and run a retreat day for us.

The day was spent looking at love.  How we learn about love, how love affects us, what is and what isn't love.

Although it wasn't mentioned all day (at least as far I know, there were a couple of points during the day where us catechists were kicked out for discussions) I kept thinking about 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. You know which one... Yeah, y'know, that one.  The one that's all sappy and lovey-dovey and over used for weddings.  Yeah, the one that's all about love being patient and kind etc etc.  Yeah, that one. The one about how beautiful and easy love it.

Except it's not.  It's really not saying that love is easy. Pretty much the opposite in fact.

Fun fact for you.  As a child I was in the church choir.  We sang at loads of weddings.  I used to love it. Partly because we got paid (which is always fun), but also because I just love weddings.  I love looking at the dresses (and would occasionally draw my dream dress on a piece of tissue/scrap paper), deciding what music I wanted at my wedding, and deciding what readings I was going to have.  Or more to the point, deciding which were way overused and would just be tacky. Right at the top of that list was 1 Cor 13:4-7.

Then I went to a retreat at Ampleforth Abbey.  And you know that expression "Mind Blown"? Yeah, that pretty much sums up my attitude towards that passage.
The monk (and much to my shame I have forgotten which one it was) told us that whenever a couple come to him wanting this reading, he tells them to go away, read it again properly, and then come back to him.  It's not about love being sweet and pleasant and easy, it's hard and tough and difficult.

Love is always patient, Love is never jealous, it is never rude, it is always ready to make allowances.

Not just when you feel like it, not just when you're in the right mood. Not even just when the situation deserves it.  Always and Never.

Always and Never.

So now, I want this reading at my wedding (y'know, if it ever happens).  Pretty much anything else is up for discussion (well, as long as it's a Catholic Mass), but that has to be a reading.  Oh, and I want the priest to discuss that in the homily.

I once heard someone very wise say that when you can replace the word love with your name, you are truly love.  So although I fail (and I fail often), I aim to be able to say "Ann is always patient, Ann is never jealous..."

Always and Never.

Valentines is coming...

In many previous years this time of year has made me incredibly sad. Well, a combination of feeling like wallowing in tears and wanting to throw up at the extreme soppiness that's around. Big red hearts everywhere: "Buy me for your loved one!" "You need me to make your relationship last!" "You're not worth anything if you're not in a relationship!"

Okay, I don't think that last one is the intention, but it certainly seems to be the message implied.  It almost brings love down to the level of "he who loves the most, will buy the most." If you don't buy me expensive gifts, you clearly don't love me enough.

The teddies and cards and flowers and tea infusers (yes, Paperchase is selling valentines tea infusers - they have a tag on that says "You're just my cup of tea" - If I liked tea I would probably be unable to resist buying it for myself...) are all very lovely, but what do they actually say about love?

Is love, and should love be shown through gifts? Well, perhaps if you're a gifts love person (I'll try and do a post about the 5 love languages at some point, but in the meantime, go google! It's fascinating), but then you're all about the thought, and not about the money.  Should Valentine's day even be all about couples?

Now I seem to be perpetually single, but right now I'm perfectly happy with that.  I'm learning how to love myself, so that, if marriage is in my future, I can love better. Learning to know myself so that I can learn more about what I need in a future husband.

So this year, instead of all the valentines decor making me think "I wish I had someone to buy that for me" or "I wish someone would send me a dozen red roses" it's making me see the love everywhere.  (Well, okay, I'm probably never going to stop wishing someone would send me flowers, but hey, a girl can hope, right?)

A couple of years ago there was a bit of a campaign to make Singles Awareness Day a thing.  Celebrated on the 15th February, it never seemed to me like a great idea.  People who are unhappy about being single, and make more unhappy by Valentines Day, aren't going to suddenly be made happy again by a day which draws even more awareness to it...
To my mind, the better thing to do would be to try and make Valentines Day about all forms of love.  Familial love, friendship love, love for a stranger.

Why not challenge yourself to show an act of love and of kindness to someone you might not usually.  Give a "You're beautiful" card to someone alone in the street.  Visit the elderly neighbour who lives by themself.  Send a note to a work-colleague with something you admire about them.

So what are my plans for this single yet again Valentines?  Well, I'm going to spend some time with Jesus, some friends, and a whole load of other Catholic youths at Youth2000 in Leeds

So how about you?  Single? Coupled up? Happy with how you are? Any ideas for ways to spread the love on Valentines?  Let me know in the comments below!

New Years, new post!

Well that went really well...

No posts since September?  Well done me.

Time to try again.  I'd quite like to attempt to actually write on here more regularly, so new years resolution is to try and post at least a couple of times a month.  Maybe it'll be more, who knows?

Anyway, I have just got back from the cinema and seeing Into The Woods (a really rather fabulous film) with the lovely Christine and Bekah.  Friend time is something I don't get enough of, and really should try and increase instead of just spending hours at home watching Netflix... I'm terrible at staying in contact with people, so should really try and get better at doing that.

I've been struggling a little with where I am at the moment in terms of life - part time jobs, living at home with the family, not being particularly near people I know...
Bekah had some wonderful words of wisdom that I wanted to get down on paper, so figure why not use them for a post on here?

She compared life to being like watching the sunrise.  It doesn't matter what you do, the sun will rise.  Doesn't matter how hard you wish it, it won't rise any faster.  The best thing to do is to pay attention and enjoy every moment of the process of sunrise.  If you miss that particular moment, it won't come round again. If you miss that pink, or the way that cloud catches the rising sun at that moment, you won't see it again.  Yes, it's dark to begin with, yes it may be freezing cold and you may wish you were somewhere else or that it was warmer, but there is real beauty there if you watch for it.

Beautiful, right?  What a fabulous girl she is.

So that's my target for now.  Watch for the beautiful moments.  Enjoy my jobs, enjoy spending time with my family.  With a couple of illnesses at the moment, the last one feels particularly important - you never know how long you'll have with them. Stop doing the whole 'the grass is always greener' thing, and learn to be happy where you are.  It's tough, but I need to give it a go.

So there we have it.  Three targets for the year ahead.  Be better at staying in touch with people, write on here, and learn to be happy.  No biggie...